Wednesday, October 27, 2010

IVF and the Misconceptions

Today while driving to work I listened to my normal morning radio show--Fernando & Greg on a Bay Area station. I enjoy their banter and perspective on the world as two gay men--especially when it comes to celebrity gossip. They are open-minded, hilarious, and seem like genuinely nice people.

This morning, however, I found their show less amusing. In the "celebrity scoop" they read a story about Mariah Carey and the pregnancy rumors. Apparently, there are reports that she is pregnant after undergoing IVF. The djs' responses were that of surprise and jest because she's married to Nick Cannon--a guy in his early twenties. Why would she need IVF? Maybe she was just too busy with other things was another comment.

It's probably safe to say that Fernando and Greg know very little about IVF. Husband is too young to have issues in that department? If only age was the only culprit. She's too busy and so she decides to do IVF? That is what set me off...are you kidding me? IVF is like a full-time job for must of us. The number of doctor appointments, calls to insurance, ordering meds....the list is endless.

While I don't believe Fernando and Greg meant to be judgemental or hurtful, I wish that story had read differently. Maybe something like:

Congratulations to Mariah Carey! She's pregnant after a long journey of trying to start her family. Like many women, she went through IVF. You go girl!

This really reminded me that people have all sorts of misconceptions about IVF and there's so much to be learned. I appreciate people like Giuliana Rancic and Celine Dion for talking openly about their struggles to conceive and taking some of the stigma away.

Hopefully more people in the public eye will help get the word out--maybe even Mariah?

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I just received the greatest text message--my dear friend just got a positive test result after struggling with infertility for years also. It's the message I was praying I'd get this week. It's hard to explain but in a way I felt like I was waiting for my own result because I know so well what she's been going through.

I hope she can put the fear and anxiety aside for a bit and enjoy this amazing feeling. I struggled with that. I jumped for joy when I got the call and then my fear took over. I wish I could feel what other "newly pregnant" women get to feel--shock but incredible excitemet and wonder.

Sadly, infertility does make us extra anxious. We've worked SO HARD to get to this place that we don't allow ourselves to get too excited. We know too much. We think too much. We've forgotten what pure elation feels like.

The good news is that we will feel that pure elation when we hold our newborn babies in our arms.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Took your advice...

...we told my parents our news over the weekend while visiting DC!
We were unsure if we would since it's still very early (9 weeks tomorrow!)but our ultrasound last week confirmed everything is right on track.

At dinner Saturday night Max ordered a bottle of cava (Spanish version of champagne). Only three flutes arrived. The fourth came moments later filled with Sprite for me. I told my parents we were working hard to practice our Spanish as we only have 8 months. Then I handed my mother an envelop with a picture of our latest ultrasound.

They were thrilled! My mother promised to keep our secret but we are doubtful that she'll be able to resist telling.

Our next announcement will be on Thanksgiving at my sister's house. Otherwise, we've decided to let me growing belly spread the word.

Other updates: my first OB appointment is on Monday; morning sickness continues but some days are much more bearable than others; my belly is huge by night-time; lastly, "Pipa" is now "Pepita" because Max learned that pipa is something you smoke unless it's plural--then it's "seeds".