Today I got good news. I passed! This first round at least. We have a few more big milestones ahead. Just knowing that I can get a positive beta is a big step for me. We've had no reason to believe that could happen and ample reasons to doubt it. I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic.
For the cermonial aspect, part of me wants to rush into the bathroom and pee on a stick. I've never seen one go positive (except ovulation sticks but they don't count) and feel like it's a necessary step and one that I may regret missing. For once I'd like to scream, "It has two lines! It has two lines!". But, I'm refraining. I'm also refraining from screaming out in the streets like I predicted I would when I finally got good news. Trying to remain cautiously optimistic.
Back to the test taking analogy: remember that annoying classmate that used to say she was so sure she failed a test and then turned around and got an A+? Don't worry, I don't feel like her today. I feel like the stupid kid that happen to get really lucky in guessing most of the questions on the test correctly. The kid that knows that luck may or may not follow him to the next test and therefore isn't applying to Harvard just yet.
I see that you were very careful not to use the word "pregnant" in your post. It's a powerful word, isn't it? But that's what you are!
ReplyDeleteGo out and buy one of those Clearblue Digital tests - see what it has to say about your condition.
Do you have a follow up beta in a couple of days? Fingers crossed for good doubling.
Congratulations! I second Dandle Dreams--go and POAS. For me, since I had never seen two lines or the word "pregnant" before, it was one of the best feelings ever...so great that I took 3 regular tests and one digital (which I made my DH go and buy in the middle of the night...he came back with the CVS brand, and I was really mad at him because I wanted the expensive kind...but no matter, it still said what I wanted it to say!). Praying for continued great results!!! :) :)
ReplyDeletethank you for your sweet comments! i think i will POAS today--may even snap a picture :)
ReplyDeletei have another beta thursday morning. praying that it looks ok.
i probably won't use the "p" word until i'm very far along. infertility really has a way of messing with us--nothing is ever straightforward or simple.
Woo hoo!! I'm so glad you "passed"! That's awesome. I'm hoping all the other milestones get passed as well :). Congrats!
ReplyDeleteGreat news for you!! Congratulations on your first positive beta! I'll be waiting for that photo and thinking of you on Thursday.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, CONGRATS!! That's awesome news. Wishing you a healthy and sticky 9 months. I understand your apprehension but don't be so afraid you miss the first few weeks of joy. You're allowed! xox
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice to read good news like that! I was keeping my fingers crossed for you - congrats. It gives me hope to hear about others IVF success stories as I start my first IVF. Congrats again.
ReplyDelete